The infamous soccer mullet must be passé now. This leaves players in a quandry. What can they do with their hair that could match, or perhaps even surpass, the mullet in grandiose hideosity? For the answer, see the Ukranian team. Undoubtedly the un-aerodynamic nature of their heads contributed to their loss today.

Here’s what I know about this match. The Ecuadorians might have trouble playing at low altitudes. They have a witch doctor on their side. Here’s what I know about soccer. Guys run around and try to get the ball in the dealy. 10:16 Ok, paying attention now. Running, running. Gerrard too high. He is Liverpool’s [...]